It couldn’t have been more than a mile down the road, but he takes his time. There are many living things in the woods along the road and he hears them watching him. Everything is too quiet. He hears this. He hears them watching.
In his head: I am scared, I am scared, I am scared.
He is driving and she is asleep in the passenger seat. He is going to burst if she keeps snoring like that. The steady drum of her heartbeat gets trapped in the car and reverberates against the windows. He opens the windows to let a sane sound in, for whatever it’s worth. It doesn’t concern him anymore.
In his head: I feel! And I long! And I hurt, I hurt, I hurt!
He is feeling again at a dinner party. He is feeling hatred. He is feeling this again for the first time in years. He is feeling hatred towards the salmon, the soggy asparagus. He is feeling hatred towards Kyle’s tired Boston accent. He is feeling hatred towards his own fingernails, chewed down into ten angry nubs.
In his head: These are crazy times when the feel of my own skin is dead wrong.
He takes the axe out into the yard. He is going to chop some wood for a fire tonight. It is like the sound of a skull hitting pavement. It is his favorite sound. There is not enough of it in the world. He is not crazy; he promised his wife he would not be crazy tonight.
In his head: Jesus won’t save me. He couldn’t even save himself.
He has been awake in bed for over 3 hours and the dark has become blindingly bright. There are razors scattered over the sheet that threaten to draw blood if he moves. He has got to change positions. He has got to roll over
In his head: There is nothing to it, I promise. Just take the knife and cut. There is nothing to it.

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.

you’ll never…
what i mean is i’ll never…
but I’m gonna get into a lot of trouble
to fix this
to fix me
but I’m gonna get what i want
but I’m gonna make you bleed

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.

light blue

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.

(7) we had a lot in common and you liked my writing but your girlfriend had just killed herself you kept saying i was too young so so young but that never stopped you from fucking me silly i still resent you for leading me on but i was naive to think i would be different you made me realize i wasn’t special but at least you paid for my cab ride home every time

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.
This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.
selfie before work

selfie before work

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 1 note. .

the price was $19.99 but it felt like my soul

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.

I’m scared
nothing in particular
i don’t know why its just a feeling i get
sometimes I’m scared of you…
that you’re going somewhere
i don’t know where just somewhere else and that you won’t take me with you
I’m not being paranoid I’m just telling you how i feel
you asked
fine

just say you’ll take me with you
i know its crazy I’m crazy just say it
just say it won’t you say it?

that you’ll take me with you

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 1 note.
Her (2013) Sountrack: 13. Dimensions
This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.

my solution to everything is just to lose weight. i want to be thin again and im going to get there no matter what. i hate this body and i want to tear the fat from my skin. once im skinny everything will be better.

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 1 note.

(6) i was wasted out of my mind and my friend left me alone at the bar i told you several times to fuck off and flirted with several guys in front of you but you followed me home anyway and i let you god knows why and we fucked in the bathroom i can’t remember your face that well and the next morning you touched me and i thought you were someone else you wanted a quickie you said you could just slip it in and that made me want to vomit so i said get out you have to leave now so you did

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.
This was posted 7 months ago. It has 3 notes. .

hit a new low tonight

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 1 note.

(5) i really wanted your friend but you were good enough so i told you to come home with me and i was in control for once in my life and took what i wanted for once in my life i guess i have a thing for accents and when we fucked you called me a bitch in your language you thought i couldn’t understand but i know spanish curse words (from number 1) which is close enough to italian curse words and anyway you were too drunk to keep it up

This was posted 7 months ago. It has 0 notes.
This was posted 7 months ago. It has 1 note. .